Thursday, September 15, 2016

Story: The Three Lovers

Kylie had always been a beautiful girl. When she was growing up everyone who knew her would say that the gods must have created her in the image of an angel. The older Kylie got the more beautiful she became. She went through school being sought after by all the guys. In high school, they all tried to convince her to be their girlfriend, but she always refused. Her senior year she decided she would take a boyfriend, but only if there was a promise of forever with the relationship. She didn’t want to waste her time with a meaningless relationship, but instead wanted to be a part of one with a promising future.

Once the word got out that Kylie was willing to be in a relationship, three boys distinguished themselves from the rest. Matt was captain of the football team and student council president. He was handsome, strong, and all the girls loved him. Steven was a drum major and top of his class. He was graduating with honors and was set to be valedictorian. He also had many scholarships lined up for college. Dylan was a drama geek. He was the lead in all the school plays and had a full ride to Julliard waiting for him when he graduated.

Kylie knew each of these boys well because they had all gone to school together since they were little kids. She liked each of them for different reasons. She knew she had said that she would pick a boyfriend, but she couldn’t. How was she supposed to choose between three exceptional young men? They were all so nice and kindhearted and she didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the ones who weren’t picked. She stressed about the decision for weeks. She couldn’t even focus on her school work because she was so worried about who to pick. The stress of the decision, plus the stress of finals, and the stress of graduation and the future proved too much for her to handle. Her body gave out and she fell into a long coma.
                                                                                         

The boys, being head over heels for her, were distraught. They all handled it in different ways. Dylan stayed by her bedside the whole time. He didn’t even leave to go to his classes. He helped brush her hair and sang to her. He talked to her and kept her company. He wanted to make sure she knew what was happening in the outside world. Matt dedicated every football game to her and set up a fundraiser to help her parents pay for the medical bills. Steven spent hours and hours researching her condition. He was extremely smart for his age and was trying to help the doctors find out what was wrong and how to treat her.

Weeks went by, but Dylan never left her bedside. Matt had played better than he ever had and he had helped raise a significant amount of money for Kylie’s medical expenses. Steven spent tireless hours in his lab, on top of going to school, desperately hoping to figure out was wrong with her. Finally, there was a breakthrough and the doctors found a diagnosis. They started her on treatment right away and in a matter of days she was awake. She was as beautiful as ever. Her eyes sparkled, her skin seemed to glow and not one hair on her head was astray. No one could even tell that she had spent weeks lying in a hospital bed. The boys each explained to her what they had done for her. Matt told her about all the games he won in her name and the amount of money he had raised for her. Steven told her about his contributions in finding her diagnosis. Dylan told her how he never left her side, how he kept up her appearance, and that he sang to her and talked to her.

After hearing the things that the boys went through, Kylie was able to make a decision. She thanked Matt for all he did, but told him that the way he reacted is the way a son would react and therefore he should not be her boyfriend. She told Steven that she greatly appreciated his dedication and hard work, but that he reacted the way a father would and therefore should not be her boyfriend. She then talked to Dylan and told him that she wanted to be with him. She told him that he reacted the way a young man in love would react. He gave up his time and didn’t worry about how missing school would affect him his senior year; the only thing he cared about was being there for her and making sure she got better. This is how a boyfriend should act and it also showed her that they had a promising future. Her decision was final and she made the right call, for Kylie and Dylan went on to have a long and happy relationship.


Author’s note: I used the story of the Three Lovers who brought the Dead Girl to Life from Twenty- Two Goblins. The story is a riddle the goblin is telling the king about a young girl who has to choose between three men to be her husband. She couldn’t make a decision because she didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the other two. Then she got sick and died, which left the men distraught. After she was cremated, one of them slept on her ashes and begged for food, the second dipped her bones in the sacred Ganges River and the third became a monk and wandered the world until he found a spell to bring her back to life. He then went back to her grave and brought her back to life. Once she came back to life the men began to fight over who should get to marry her. The goblin then asks the king who should be able to marry her. The king replies by saying the man who brought her back to life acted as a father would. The man who dipped her bones in the river acted as a son would. The man that gave up his life to live in the cemetery acted as a lover and deserved to marry her. This was the correct answer. I chose to keep the plot close to the original story, but I wanted to make it more modern. I also changed it to where she was only in a coma so it wasn’t as dramatic. I chose this image because even though it is of Sleeping Beauty, it goes along with the concept of her being in a coma. The story also has a fairy tale feel to it, so having a fairy tale image felt appropriate.

Image Info: Sleeping Beauty by Henry Meynell Rheam; Wikipedia Commons

Bibliography: Twenty- Two Goblins translated by Arthur Ryder; Mythology and Folklore Untextbook

16 comments:

  1. Cassie, I thought this was a great story! I wasn't familiar with the story you based it on, but I liked the modern spin you put on it regardless! It's funny that the stress of having to choose put Kylie in a coma. If I had three awesome guys drooling over me I might pass out too! Also, I like the look of your blog. The font is so cool and different. I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts!

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  2. Hey Cassie,

    I really enjoyed your story, I thought it was very well written and super easy to read. This week I read the Twenty Two Goblins stories as well and I think I like your version of this story more than the one in the story. It was just way more relatable and modern, and I really liked how it was written.

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  3. I think this modern take was absolutely brilliant. I loved the fact that it takes place in high school, which adds this 'young and forever' love feeling to the story like most high school relations seem to be. I haven't ever read the story, but based on the author's notes you did a really good job sticking with the plot, yet adding your own flare. I originally thought this was a take off of sleeping beauty. I kind of wish this is how the story of sleeping beauty went, but your rendition is just what it needed.

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  4. Cassie, I love a good romantic fable and I really loved your take on it! I never know who she will choose in the end because it is hard to choose between different, but equally great guys. It kind of reminds me of the Bachelor. They all displayed their love for her in the ways they know how, so it is up to her personal preferences to choose who she wants. I thought explaining the boys and their activities during her coma really made sense in the end when she chose one of them to be with her. I think you did a really great job of modernizing this aspect of the story. It helped me to understand how she made the decision she did. So overall, I think you did a really awesome job of giving enough information to help me understand each character and the way that she decided who to be with.

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  5. Cassie, I could tell this story was going to be interesting from the start! The characters were built well and I like the way that you changed the original story to make it your own. I hadn't heard of the original story, but I enjoyed your version. One thing that I noticed when reading your story was that there were a few sentences that needed commas to make them flow a little bit more. Some sentences had a lot of the word "and" and this can make for a choppy story. However, that is one of the only critiques that I have on the story. I also like the way that you put a modern spin on the story. By having the characters in high school, it made them more relatable. I also think it was a good idea to make it where Kylie didn't die. It made the story more believable, to where it doesn't sound like a myth.

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  6. Wow!: I thought that this was creative and excellent. I enjoyed the slight (perhaps unintentional?) tongue-in-cheek humor when picking a high school boyfriend caused so much stress, and particularly when her body gave out and she went into a coma over the decision. I also really liked how creative you were with the different boys' talents. They’re very different from each other, but all very attractive in their own way. Further, your tone is very accessible and pleasant to read: simple, but not in an unsophisticated way, as the retelling of a fairy(ish) tale should be.

    Why?: Is there by chance any backstory as to why she only wanted to date if it would end, basically in marriage? Has she been heartbroken before?

    What if . . . : I don’t really have any major things to suggest, because I think you retold this beautifully. However, one tiny thing that felt a bit funny was in the second sentence. Instead of saying “the god must have,” it might fit slightly better to say, “the gods must have” or “God must have.” That’s a tiny thing, of course.

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  7. This story is great.I actually used the same story as inspiration for one of my weekly stories The wordf font that you are using makes the story seem like a hand written fairytale. In the first sentence you write that "the god favored her..." I think you meant to write "the gods" otherwise it should just read " favored by God." I like that you placed the story in a modern setting. Instead of goblins and magical spells you used doctors and modern medicine. Because the characters were all high school age, I expected you to write an ending that included them going to prom. I like that Kylie explained what Dylan did that made her know that he was right for her. Your author's note is good. It is detailed and explains theorginal story well. This allows your readers to compare and contrast your story to the original. Personally, I like your version of the story better. I look forward to reading more of your project throughout the semester.

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  8. Hey Cassie!

    I really like your writing and the modern twist you used. Though it was a little difficult to read because of the font (maybe figure out a way to still make it look handwritten but also be a little easier to read?) the content was excellent. It kind of reminded me of a diary entry.
    The twist you took to put the stressed out girl into a coma was hysterical. I relate to her and am actually surprised that has never happened to me before! The systematic approach taken to choose the boyfriend was very interesting as well. I am glad she picked the boy that never left her side instead of one who played football games in her honor, but I was unsure by that point in the story if she was going to pick Steven or Dylan because both of them showed such a strong love for her. It is also kind of a sign of what her love language is... there are five: personal touch, the acts of service/favor, quality time, gift giving and receiving and words of affirmation. Clearly, words of affirmation could not have been her love language since she was in a coma, but she picked the acts of service (brushing her hair) and quality time, so those must have been her two strongest love languages.

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  9. I really liked the font you used for your blog, even though I found it difficult to read I would be willing to ignore it because it looks pretty (what can I say I’m a sucker for pretty things). I really like the idea that you modernized the story. I’m hoping to read the original at a later time. I couldn’t help it my inner weirdness was saying “you can’t go into a coma from extreme stress”, even though I’m not sure if you can or not. The point I’m trying to make is it didn’t come off believable to me at least not the way you set up the story. What seems more in-tune is to have a tragedy befall the girl the death of one of them or something that would cause her heart to break. Also, what was her diagnosis? Was it a coma or was it something else? These are important questions and I’m dying to know. It’s too suspenseful! I can’t handle it! P.s. I think the photo works perfectly even if it’s of sleeping beauty! The whole story reminded me of the fairy-tale. P.s.s. Great job! I’m super excited to get the opportunity to read more!

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  10. Your story is fantastic! I really like how you did not go far from the original story and instead just made it modern. Your way of writing keeps it very interesting and I think that not killing the woman and keeping her just in coma was a good move as it takes out less drama. It was nice how you changed the three men's characters into college student characters, it made it funnier.
    I wonder why Kylie did not give them all a shot, it could make the story more interesting by seeing how she reacts and feels with each one of them. Although the story was very good, I believe that you should change your font as it was nice very easy to read on a computer which I am sure will make it harder for other people reading your story. Overall, your story is great, thanks for sharing and I look forward to more of your stories.

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  11. Hi Cassie, I really like how your Portfolio has this overall theme of love. It made me excited to read your stories! I chose to read the “Three Lovers” story because I was interested to see how the girl was going to decide between the three stand-up guys. Now onto your actual story: I feel like there needs to be a comma in the second sentence, right after the phrase “When she was growing up…” just so there is a little pause in that sentence. I think that in the sentence that starts off, “The older Kyle got the more beautiful…” is missing a word. I think it is supposed to read, “The older Kylie got, the more beautiful she became.” I could be wrong, but it just sounded a little weird to me. Overall, I really liked reading your story. I think your Author’s Note is great, and helps give the reader a good amount of background information. Keep up the good work!

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  12. Hey Cassie, I think you picked a wonderful story to re-tell here. There were so many ways that you could have taken this but I liked the modern twist you put on it. It was definitely a hard decision for her to make since all the potential boyfriends had very redeeming qualities. The decision in the end was what I had predicted but not for the reasons I would have assumed. The way that Steven and Matt acted made sense why she did not choose him. It would have been interesting if you would have taken the role of the father from the original story and some how incorporated it into your retelling. Or you could have had the mother there at her bedside when she woke up to relay back what all the boys were doing to help Kylie while she was in her coma. It would give the story an outside looking in perspective from the mind of her mother.

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  13. Hey Cassie! I also read the story Twenty-Two Goblins, and I love how you chose to write a story based on one of the many riddles instead of writing the story based on the story as a whole (which is what I did.) I love your story much more! You did a great job, I love that it stayed very true to the original yet was modern. I also love that she did not die but was only in a coma, that made it much less gruesome! I think this story is in great shape and I don't really see anything that needs to be fixed. I love the theme of your storybook and I think it's a great idea. It would be interesting if you changed the end here to make it where she chooses none of the boys and completely changes the end of the original story. They are all too needy! Haha, but great job!

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  14. This is such a great story. I have never read the original version before, but your story makes me want to read it. I like how three different guys had three different ways of showing their love for her. I didn't put together the relationship likeness until you told us in the end. I was always with Dylan because I think if you are in a relationship or really love someone and they are spending time in the hospital, that you should spend as much time with them as you can.

    I wonder what would happen if they couldn't find a cure? Did Dylan have to miss his graduation? Did he drop out until she could return?

    I wonder what would happen if they took shifts of staying with her each doing something different?

    I also wonder what would have happened if after so long Dylan gave he a kiss on the head and she came out of her comma?

    I really enjoyed your story and can't wait to read the others!

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  15. I think you did a nice job in writing Kylie’s background in the first paragraph, and it definitely added context for the rest of your story. I liked how you put a modern flare to the story as well. I feel like the reader can better relate to it!

    I also felt that Kylie was lucky with the guys that liked her, they all seemed to be going places, and any of them would have been a good choice. But I think she picked the right one in the end. I hadn’t read the original story before so I had no idea who she’d choose, so that kept me reading to see the result!

    I did notice one mistake in the sentence “ the older Kylie got the more beautiful became.” I think you forgot to put a she between “beautiful” and “became.” Other than that everything sounds great!

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  16. Hi!
    I really enjoyed this story. I liked the modern twist you had on it and it almost reminded me of a gossip girl or some type of tv show. UGH being a girl is rough.. I am sure she was super stressed about choosing the perfect boyfriend because in high school that is like the ultimate factor, dating the best guy! I liked how you had 3 completely different boys in the story. All were opposites of each other but liked the same girl. I also liked how the football star did not win the girl.. Football players are idolized and it is ridiculous!! Very nice job!

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